There was a time when I believed I was damaged goods.
Shortly after my cancer diagnosis and surgeries, whenever my husband would kiss my head–my scarred, dented head–I felt it in the pit of my stomach. I’m not the same.
The first, and easiest conclusion I came to was, I must be damaged.
My scar was proof.
My dented head was proof.
My physical deficits were proof.
My seizures were proof.
My panic attacks were proof.
I thought I was broken… from the outside in.
But the truth is, I was just different.
The hardest (and most rewarding) thing I did was decide (over and over again) that different doesn’t mean damaged.
I was aware that I would never be the same wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend that I was before. But that actually turned out to be a good thing!
The further I got away from the old me… the less I wanted to be her!
The old me was so ignorant to what was truly important.
The old me didn’t love this hard.
The old me was lost.
As I moved through the painful process of change, I realized that the change is not a bad thing after all! In fact, change is inevitable if you want to truly live. If we never changed, we might as well die already because we’ve already come as far as we’re willing to go!
With change comes possibility.
We can’t let our circumstance, or our past experiences run our lives. If we did, we would stay stuck in a downward spiral.
Instead, we have to disrupt everything in our life that is contributing to the spiral (negative self-talk, toxic relationships, high stress triggers, hopelessness, etc.) with intentional change.
Even though we can’t undo what got us to this point in our lives, we do have free will to create what’s next.
Realizing I had a choice about what’s next was so powerful.
I want that for you too.
I want you to realize that this uncomfortable moment of change is not breaking you.
It is creating possibility for a new, better life.
You are becoming.
You are learning.
You are growing.
You are being prepared.
You don’t have to stay stuck in your spiral of brokenness. You can change anything and everything you want about your life. It can be drastic, subtle, or even gradual–But the hard truth is that these changes have to be a lifelong practice.
New hard things will come your way, but if you keep working on yourself, not only will you be unbreakable… you’ll be unstoppable.
Life Practice
- What factors are contributing to your downward spiral?
- What steps will you take to eliminate them?
- When will you start?
It’s time to live new.
