In New Again, Personal Growth, Relationships, Trauma

This is my oldest son Tavin, shooting for the stars. He can aim, but he can’t control the other factors at play. That’s life for you.

Is it you? God? No one?

I know who’s not in control – us. But that isn’t to say we should be timid or a passenger in life.

A false sense of control is something a lot of us have a hard time with. When I found out I had cancer I finally accepted the ugly truth – I am not running the show. I can do all the planning and prep work when it comes to every aspect of my life, but life will not always go the way I anticipate. I had protected my health in so many ways and was responsible with how I fueled my body, but I got cancer anyway. I could allow this to make me feel powerless, but I choose to feel empowered despite this truth because I can control how I respond to things.

What does “control” really mean?

Merriam-Webster defines control as a verb: To have power over. To rule.

Where does control manifest?

It’s born in our intentions for the future and how we want things to turn out.

When does control matter the most to us?

Right now! When we feel like we’re in control, we feel okay. When we feel out of control, we feel stressed.

Why does control matter to us?

It’s in our human nature to be in charge, to be the god of our own personal worlds.

What can we do?

We don’t lie down and allow life to just happen to us, we can take an active roll in influencing it, with the hope that what we do will matter. If things don’t turn out as we hoped, we will have been preparing ourselves in other important ways.

When things happen outside our control

I believe it’s on purpose for a couple of reasons:

  • Losing a sense of control is an awakening of sorts to remind us that we were made – we did not make ourselves.
  • We can also look at roadblocks on our paths as a means by our maker to point us in the direction for the good things intended for us.

How many times have things gone awry and it turned out to be a good thing? How many unanswered prayers have you been grateful did not come to pass? How many times has waiting for something made it even sweeter? How many times has something unexpected turned out to be the thing you really needed? I could go on. I bet if you think about it, you could too.

How we can embrace our lack of control

Read that last paragraph again and really consider all the ways you have grown from the chaos in your life. Know that life is not meant to be neat and orderly. You are not alone! Look at your mess as an opportunity to pick up the pieces, examine them, and put them back somewhere better. This is how we influence the future – by making ourselves capable of it.

I believe in you.

New Again: Healing Through Perspective

Listen to the first chapter.

To be New Again is to realize and embrace that on the other side of trauma or a life-changing event, you will never be the “old” you again. Experiences change us and that’s okay. In fact, it’s incredibly empowering if you choose to see your growth over your pain. Through every disaster, you can emerge new, even better than before.

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