The safety of what’s familiar.
Choosing to stay in familiar territory with the choices we make and the feelings we feel is safe. We feel more comfortable with what’s familiar and we know how to exist in it. It’s not hard to live in the life we created because we made it exactly how it is.
If you’re like me, you have a tendency to lean into what feels familiar because the unknown is a tad (or a lot) scary. The problem with this is that what is familiar is a string of old patterns that may not be helping us grow into what we want to become. In fact, those old patterns might be exactly what’s stopping us.
The fear of what’s right.
Sometimes what is “right” is also familiar. But when it’s not – and we have to step out of our comfort zone to move close to what’s right- we freeze.
We stop right there at the edge of something new and good for no good reason!
How do I know it’s good? Because it’s right. How do I know it’s right? Because what is right to each of us has to do with our foundational morals, beliefs, and desires.
Think about it… if what is right are all the things that attribute to the best version of your life that you can imagine, why in the world would you not move in that direction even if it requires you to take a small step away from what is familiar? Well, because…
Living your vision feels awkward.
But one day it won’t. Your new choices to step away from what you’ve already known into new territory will eventually start to rewire your brain and what’s unfamiliar will eventually become your new familiar. Have you ever noticed that when you do something scary enough times, it’s no longer scary?
Case in point 1: I cried during a presentation in high school and I had a panic attack in college when I had to give a speech to a class of 20 people. Now I say yes to speaking engagements.
Talking in front of people used to scare the shit out of me in every sense of the word. It still isn’t comfortable, but I choose it because I have a vision to help people learn from what I have experienced. My experience gifted me with a perspective that I do not feel right about keeping to myself. Everyone needs to know that they can be new again. Everyone. That is more right to me than my irrational fear of talking in front of people… even if I’m not polished or I lose my train of thought because, well brain cancer.
Case in point 2: I used to be claustrophobic. It had to do with a traumatic experience I had as a child. When I got cancer and had to go into the MRI machine (with a face cage), I needed drugs. Lots of drugs. Then I needed less and less. Now I don’t need any.
I knew getting my scans were right for me and I couldn’t let my fear of moving away from the familiarity of open space into an uncomfortable confined space stop me. Eventually, I even dropped the security blanket that the drugs provided and started taking my scans sober. Every stage was hard, but it was also empowering.
Keep moving away from what’s familiar.
If you want to constantly be in growth mode and live the heck out of your life, never stop moving toward your vision. Growth means change and change means you have to take NEW actions. Don’t get stuck living the same life every single day. Get out of bed excited to live your vison. What is right will be your compass.
